And just when you thought the Superbowl halftime show couldn't get any duller...

[layla]

This was apparently written after the Janet Jackson nipple "scandal" two years ago, but it was linked in a recent post from this blog here, and it's the funniest damn thing I've read in weeks. You know what this guy reminds me of? The Onion's fake editorials by its loonily ancient, off-the-right-wing-deep-end publisher, whose opinion on current events froze somewhere in 1910. Only this guy is, I presume, serious. My very favorite part:

There are so many beautiful events in the history of our nation that our children and our families deserve to know, so many glorious episodes to dramatize. Why doesn't the NFL stage a ten-year sequence of halftime shows that tell the great story of the Founding of our nation? For this story embodies all the virtues required by championship football, and many others besides.

I can't ... I don't ... I ... Words fail me.

"Coming up on the Superbowl halftime show ... the 12th Amendment, the Louisiana Purchase and the Van Buren presidency ... reinacted by football players! Next year -- the NFL presents 1840 through 1852 -- don't miss the excitement!"

It's like high school History 101 gone terribly, terribly wrong.

Comments

[missionbear.livejournal.com]

"So the sight of Janet Jackson's bare breast during the NFL halftime show Sunday cannot be said to have shocked me. But the firestorm it has ignited across the nation may concentrate attention on what a colossal moral waste the NFL halftime shows have been..."
What is should concentrae attention on is the extreme puritanicalism that has been allowed to flare up to absurd proportions. Or perhaps concentrate attention on the poverty of thought in the news media that allowed itself to be led around by spin doctors trying (with incredible success) to distract its audience from more important matters than a nipple. The last I heard, seeing a tit didn't make one go blind.
Argh. I'm glad to miss superbowls.

[dewgeist.livejournal.com]

*cough* Oh. Dear. Somewhere in all of this an actual game is being played.
...perhaps they should not televise the halftime show any more and simply run uninterrupted commercials.

[laylalawlor.livejournal.com]

Or they could just dispense with the game entirely and run three hours of commercials...

[allanharvey.livejournal.com]

Frighteningly, they actually showed the whole thing over here live, and we don't even play American Football in this country! The whole world's gone mad, I tellya! I blame global warming...