Pondering heroes and the tropes thereof

[layla]

The latest book from my Library Pile is one that I’d thought to be a historical murder mystery from the cover, but once I started to read, I realized it was a mystery-romance. The heroine has a meet-cute with a guy on the ferry that she’s taking to the Greek island where the events of the book take place. On the island, he is giving her a lift in his sporty little car, when he accidentally knocks over an old lady’s fruit stand, knocking oranges all over the road. Immediately, he stops, apologizes, and helps the old lady pick up her fruit.

And this really gave me pause; it made me stop and go, “Wow, I like this guy! This one’s a keeper, lady.”

… then about five pages later, the actual romantic hero shows up, which is clearly signposted because he is a total dick and the heroine hates him. Just to be sure, I turned to the blurb on the back (normally I avoid those, being a spoilerphobe) and discovered that not only is Dick Boy our “hero”, but the guy I’d liked so much is slated to be the murder victim.

Yeah. No. This one goes straight back to the library.

But this made me realize just how thoroughly over the alpha-hero trope I am. Over. Done. I want characters (male and female) who are the sort of person who would stop to help an old lady pick up her oranges. I am hungry for kind characters in literature, the sort of people who are aware that they exist as part of a community; who, when they accidentally hurt someone, notice and apologize for it, even if it’s a stranger, and doubly so if it’s a loved one.

And I think it was very eye-opening for me how startling it was, to encounter a scene in the opening pages of the book in which the character that I had believed to be the hero does something kind and altruistic. That’s rare. And it shouldn’t be. And this isn’t a problem specific to the romance genre. I read so many books in which the characters are misanthropic loners or just general jerks. I can enjoy me some misanthropic loners, but these days, I find that I’m really craving books about characters who aren’t. (Even if they may occasionally mistake themselves for one.)

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Crossposted from Wordpress.  

Comments

Re: Yes...

[(Anonymous)]

This is why we need more romances with people of all sexes who are kind, gentle, do the housework, negotiate disagreement and reach acceptable compromises. Give people alternative models of behaviour than the ones they grew up with and the existing "romantic" stereotypes.

My younger sibling plays a game where zie counts the number of times an adult says the actual words "I'm sorry," or an outright apology in any media whatsoever.

It is shocking how rare it is. The only times you say anyone in media actually says they're sorry tends to be if they're children, and/or in media made for children. Everyone else... well, they might do something to try and make amends, but very rarely do they actually say they're sorry, and the two things aren't the same.

I never noticed it until my sibling started playing the game.

--baaing-tree from LJ

[layla]

Oh, that's a really fascinating point about adults apologizing! I'm going to have to pay more attention to it now -- and in my own work as well. Because, wow, yeah. Good point.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, apologies in general are shockingly rare in media. Like, I long ago figured out the three components of a proper apology:

1. Say you're sorry.
2. Show an understanding of what you did wrong.
3. Change behavior so it doesn't happen again.

Getting even the first is unusual in media; getting all three is REALLY uncommon.

I kinda want to do a sorta Bechdel test for that, only call it the Apology Test. A movie/book/whatever passes if two characters fulfill all three criteria.

--baaing-tree