Sadly... yes. And I HATE having to say that. But yes.
When I was in college, I took Sociology of Marriage and Family Life. It was one of the more rewarding classes I took, along with the Psych Communications course. I very distinctly remember one particular class in which we discussed patterns of women, attraction, and men.
Something the professor, who was a marriage counselor of some thirty years, gave as an example was how women in teen years would make "perfect guy" lists, with all the qualities they wanted. She asked the class (which was 90% women) if we had done that, and if our relationship choices matched what we consciously wanted. Several of the women spoke up and said that, when pointed out like that, the men that they chose were the exact opposite of what they consciously wanted -- one lady even said she had been through four major relationships, marriages, and divorces, and that she knew that she picked men who were bad for her and would abuse her. But that all the guys that met the qualities on her list? The ones that were really nice guys (not Nice Guys) and were there for her? She just wasn't attracted to. And several other women responded in agreement -- that there was just some reason why they were not attracted to these guys, but they were attracted to men that would hurt them. And they knew it.
I don't think we ever got into discussing why it happened (we didn't have enough class time; literally most of the 2 and a half hours of that class was spent with pretty much the entire class breaking down) but it was such a huge thing, among so many of us... (Adding, I think, trying to remember, the determination most of us came to was that it was a cultural thing, in how women are raised in the patriarchy, and... that was just way way too much for that class to cover.)
Re: Yes...
When I was in college, I took Sociology of Marriage and Family Life. It was one of the more rewarding classes I took, along with the Psych Communications course. I very distinctly remember one particular class in which we discussed patterns of women, attraction, and men.
Something the professor, who was a marriage counselor of some thirty years, gave as an example was how women in teen years would make "perfect guy" lists, with all the qualities they wanted. She asked the class (which was 90% women) if we had done that, and if our relationship choices matched what we consciously wanted. Several of the women spoke up and said that, when pointed out like that, the men that they chose were the exact opposite of what they consciously wanted -- one lady even said she had been through four major relationships, marriages, and divorces, and that she knew that she picked men who were bad for her and would abuse her. But that all the guys that met the qualities on her list? The ones that were really nice guys (not Nice Guys) and were there for her? She just wasn't attracted to. And several other women responded in agreement -- that there was just some reason why they were not attracted to these guys, but they were attracted to men that would hurt them. And they knew it.
I don't think we ever got into discussing why it happened (we didn't have enough class time; literally most of the 2 and a half hours of that class was spent with pretty much the entire class breaking down) but it was such a huge thing, among so many of us... (Adding, I think, trying to remember, the determination most of us came to was that it was a cultural thing, in how women are raised in the patriarchy, and... that was just way way too much for that class to cover.)