Sun-Cutter page 12

[layla]

Red Roof Inn has really nice wireless -- I think it's the first hotel I've stayed in, during this trip, where the internet doesn't cut in and out while I'm trying to use it. This almost makes up for the fact that my room was supposed to have a fridge and microwave but doesn't. None of which has anything to do with today's page.







If you remember me talking awhile back about drawing a page with a pterodactyl ... this is the one. Also, it's nearly impossible to make a train look futuristic without just getting silly about it. The general design that we have is simple and practical, especially for what is really just a background image on a single page.


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Comments

[allanh]

I suggest that while the 'dactyl looks OK, the train still needs some work. I wouldn't normally critique a specific element, but it really drew my eye away from the rest of the page. :(

The train's door opening shouldn't go all the way to the roof. There also needs to be a better-delineated bottom sill.

Here are some possible reference photos that might be useful. Look at how the doors are framed by part of the roofline and a bit of the bottom sill...

http://image18.webshots.com/18/1/89/35/213218935XCbaXX_ph.jpg
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/218/463602474_7dd3194195.jpg?v=0
http://www.bridgeandtunnelclub.com/bigmap/outoftown/california/sanfrancisco/bart/10civiccenterstation.jpg

[layla]

Thank you for this! I never mind critique -- and I have a terrible habit of half-assing my drafting duties when I'm drawing mechanical objects.

I can see what you mean about the door not going all the way up. I guess it doesn't help that I live in a state that doesn't have that kind of train at all, so the general "look" of them is not very familiar to me. (I'm getting a 403 Forbidden on the first and third pictures, though.)

I'm already planning on doing a bit of touch-up to a couple of the pages when I'm back home in a few days, so I can do this one at the same time!

[allanh]

Try a Google Images search on "Bart train" or [DC] "metro train". Both systems have trains that are similar to what I think you're intending to draw.

Hugs!